Bank Secured Credit Card

If you think it might benefit you to do so, you many want to get yourself a bank secured credit card. After all, what better way to stuff that tight little pocket of yours with spending possibilities unlike any that you have ever imagined? There simply isn’t one. Only a secured card can afford you the truly unlimited power to harness the natural resources of Earth, subsequently radiating off your intelligence cube into the lower sector of Marmoth! Perhaps then the moon men of Aldebaran will show you their famed collection of secured credit card memorabilia, replete with Roseanne Barr’s lost mustache, which was originally believed to have been abducted by Richard Nixon’s evil twin brother Maramaduke. Do not be afraid if this happens to occur, as it will only anger King Kong and likely force him into hiberanation. A bank secured credit card may be powerful, but not so powerful that it can defeat King Kong, king of the apes and star of the big screen!

Do you concur, good citizen?

Do you agree that a bank secured credit card in your pants is like walking on top of the Milky Way with clouds at your soles and fabulously jubilant elephants pulling you forth with astonishing speed? You must, kind fellow, as it is the only true to way to determine whether your long lost sister really lost her bank secured credit card, or if she just left it under the couch, next to all those dimes and nickels, and pennies, and quarters! Do some investigative work in the name of the famed Dick Tracy and uncover the hidden truths, locked away for years by tyrants with illegal supplies of velcro and duct tape! Howl and hiss at their ludicrous requests for tea parties, and indulge in bank secured credit card euphoria! Tomorrow is a new day, and with the morning sun will come your chance for redemption. Delay the opening of the new mini-golf place and get your bank secured credit card with uimost haste!

Don’t linger, get a best secured credit card before the palms sway into the their tide of nebular!

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